Ok. I KNOW I promised Jolene first. But then someone mentioned THIS fucking song, so here we are.
I ALSO know that I said I would “respectfully and lovingly” deconstruct these songs. So, “respectfully and lovingly”….
Fuck it. I’m re-writing this shit.
I mean, just WATCH this video of Tammy Wynette singing this song. She’s basically just Stepford-Wifing her way through it….
Let’s break it down:
“Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman” (Duh)
“Giving all your love to just one man.” (Just one? ONE?!! HA!!!!)
“You’ll have bad times” (UGH!!)
“And he’ll have good times,” (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!)
“Doin’ things that you don’t understand” (Seriously?! Let’s not play dumb, honey. We are not dumb.)
“But if you love him you’ll forgive him,” (Noooope. No no no. If you LOVE someone you hold them accountable! WHY is this still not basic knowledge?!)
“Even though he’s hard to understand” (How can you forgive something you don’t understand?! That’s not forgiveness, that’s Stockholm Syndrome.)
“And if you love him oh be proud of him” (Wait….we’re giving him a gold star? For WHAT?! For playing?! Is this where you follow up with “Don’t hate the player, hate the game?” The game needs players or it isn’t a thing!! WHO DO YOU THINK INVENTED THE DAMN GAME?!?!)
“‘Cause after all he’s just a man” (Oh! Yep. Guess what men are!! Just GUESS!! They’re HUMAN FUCKING BEINGS!! Not disobedient angler fish, for FUCK SAKE!!)
“Stand by your man,”(Shit….. Why? What’s he gonna do now!?)
“Give him two arms to cling to,” (Oh, NOW he needs something?)
“And something warm to come to” (Microwave a Hot Pocket, Motherfucker.)
“When nights are cold and lonely” (COUCH!!)
“Stand by your man,” (Boooooooooooo!!!!!!)
“And show the world you love him” (Why does the world have to know our business?!?)
“Keep giving all the love you can” (You BETTER keep giving, so you don’t lose your damn mind…)
“Stand by your man” (Stop telling me what to do!!!)
“Stand by your man,” (
)
“And show the world you love him” (Again, none of their damn business)
“Keep giving all the love you can” ()
“Stand by your man” ()
Nope! No more of this driv.
Here, I re-wrote this shit:
Stand On Your Man
Sometimes It’s hard to be a woman
Taking all your shit from all the men
You’ll have bad times
They’ll have good times
and leave all the shame in your hands
But if you love them, stand your ground
even if they’re standing on it too
And if you love them, stand right upon them
‘Cause after all, we’re people too
Stand on your man
immobilize his arms too
give him a stare that cuts through
those lies, so bold, and ornery
Stand on your man,
And show the world you’ll hold him
Keep giving all the weight you can
Stand on your man.
Stand on your man,
And show the world he’s faking.
Give fewer fucks thank you think you can.
Stand on your man
