Finding hope and an audience.

I’ve got that unsettled feeling again. The kind of “unsettled” that makes me want to get a tattoo. Or hit the road to a new city and get a tattoo when I get there.

I think I need to get in my car and drive all over the the face of the States playing my music for people. I think they want to hear it. I think there are people out there who will really need to hear my songs. In the same way I needed to hear Ani and Ben, Even though I didn’t know it until I heard them. I feel like I need to find those people who need my music. Because, while there are some of them here, that can only mean that there are more of them “out there.”

I need to start making myself more available to them. I need to go to them and not keep expecting that my audience will always know how to find me. I hope they choose to hear me. I hope they like what they hear long enough to stay and strike up a conversation with me afterwards.

I’ve been writing like a screaming banshee and I hope it sticks. I hope these chicken scratch scripts adhere to themselves in a singable way. I hope someone concurs with them. I hope I shatter someone like I’ve been shattered.

It’s the best kind of shattered and I don’t think I can explain it. The kind of inexplicable feeling that is so personal people write songs about it in order to bring a sense of definition to the experience. Like meditation or having an orgasm. I hope I can help someone become shattered. It’s a beautiful wreck of a feeling. I hope everyone feels this shattered at least once in their lives.

I’ve been shattered twice. And I hope that’s not all.